Playing it cool, Keeping it casual.
My Love life
For most of my love life I have never held back. In fact most of my friends used to hint at this, and when I say hint I mean tell me that, you know... perhaps inviting a guy to meet your parents after a few weeks of dating isn't quite the way to go or even becoming boyfriend and girlfriend after two dates is also kind of quick. When I would reply to them "nooo not at all I'm playing it cool, keeping it casual" they would look at me like.. you're not!
I love love. I like having someone to share things with, I love the feeling of excitement when you spend time with someone you really like, the butterflies in the tummy, the giggles and flirting.
I have often thought the way I am could have come from my experience of divorced parents. Since going through that my subconscious had made it a mission to prove love does exist and I will find the kind of prince that you read about in fairy tales.
However being this way also coursed a lot of heart break, after my first year of uni a long term boyfriend and I broke up. This happens to a lot of couples as they go off to uni and something in them changes, their lives become different, they meet new people and inevitably they become different from each other (this isn't always the case so if your sat in your first year of uni with a boyfriend, don't panic) However because I had been in such a long relationship, when I came out of it I then found it hard to adjust to the normal world of dating.
It took me a while to realise that it wasn't so easy. The boys I met didn't want to know all about my dream last night or didn't find it cute that we accidentally turned up to the date in similar colours, they pulled weird faces when I asked if I had stuff in my teeth and they didn't want to just stand and hug me in the queue in Sainsbury's.
Almost 4 years later. The realisation of this still hadn't quite got in to my brain. I would say that there was a pin point "relationship" which actually made me realise this.
After being dumped before anything had really started, I realised fast paced really wasn't the word for what had happened.. accelerated turbo speed fitted more accurately.
I had been in a little love bubble, too busy PDAing to notice actually how fast I had falling in "love"
It kind of made me laugh how I had even thought I was playing it cool.
Cool was not the word.
What not to do...
So in a matter of… Two months and nearly a whole two weeks. I had started to stay at his every weekend, had gone on contraception, met his mum, made him buy tampons, kept a tooth brush at his and also even suggested I buy a hair dryer to keep at his to, invited him on holiday in the summer, made him homemade burgers with homemade sweet potato wedges and for pudding homemade creme eggs brownies. I had told him I missed him basically everyday, had drunkenly told him I loved him, had brought a whole new draw of underwear, had come out of the shower looking like a cross between a drowned rat and Marilyn Manson, gave him a day by day count down of how many days were left till we saw each other every week.
Who was this "cool" girl. Bridget Jones? It certainly looked like something out of how to loose a guy in 10 days.
Yet in my mind at the time I wasn't being too much. The thought of it now actually made me blush a deep shade of red.
Life carries on
Now I have found someone who doesn't mind and maybe even likes my funny ways. He accepts me as a big snuggle monster. The best thing about my previous dumping was that it tought me to hold back a little, not because I thought it was the way to entice boys in before I showed my true colours but because I didn't want anyone else to have the privilege of my time and effort who didn't deserve it, I didn't want to spoil them with my affection. It is so important to hold your own and hold back a little of you, for you!
When the one did show his face, I was fully fledged independent lady, I had spent 2 years completely single, I didn't need any guy in my life and you know what I was really happy. This was the opportune moment for Tom to come and completely sweep me off my feet. I was ready for it with out knowing.
Lesson learnt: Hold back slightly. Enjoy your time with them in a reasonable manner. Try and see things for what they are and don't let your heart go in to over drive.
Exception : When you find the right person, you will be able to be yourself with them it will feel totally right and you won't ever question yourself. They will love you for who you are and what you have to give.
Stay tuned for more dating stories and life lessons....
What I'm Wearing:
Topshop Jeans: here
H&M top: here
Necklace: old from H&M but I think any good statement necklace would look great with this look